Or why my daughter in law is the best mother for my granddaughter!
I’m probably going to make some people mad with this one…
A young mother in our area was arrested after leaving her baby in the car while getting her hair cut. Sounds awful right? The story reminds us of other stories of babies left in a car with the engine running and doors unlocked, babies left in the car while their mothers were inside drinking or partying oblivious to the child, babies left in a hot car with the windows rolled up. Some of those babies died.
But this mother thought she was taking care of her child. She was following the advice I remember reading from La Leche League when I was a new mother, “Never wake a sleeping baby.” The teething baby had had a rough night, had fallen asleep in his car seat and she didn’t want to wake him. She locked the car and cracked the windows on a day when all agreed overheating was not an issue. She was in a chair twenty feet away and reportedly could keep her eye on the baby. A well meaning stranger saw the baby, called the police and mom was arrested.
The women in my book club agreed with the district attorney’s decision not to charge the mother but thought the mother had been stupid. Someone could have abducted the baby before the mother could get to her car. While she watched, a child abuser could break the lock, open the door, and grab the baby strapped into the car seat secured to the car, all before she could get there. Really? If she were watching from only 20 feet away?
I remember being left in the car as a child. In other ways my parents were very protective, overly protective even. But leaving their children in the car didn’t feel neglectful. I was left in the car while my father went into the bank or the grocery store. Once I awoke in what felt like the middle of the night locked in the back seat of the family car with my two sisters in front of a restaurant on Highway 99. My father had tired while driving and needed a cup of coffee. Did they leave us alone in the car too much? Perhaps. But the danger we felt was abandonment not any being abducted by strangers. Parents didn’t worry so much about child abduction then and locked car doors was thought adequate protection.
When a child was abducted in northern California when I was a child, my parents held us tighter, watched us more closely for awhile. As the horror slipped from the front pages of the newspaper and the front of their consciousness, they relaxed. Today there is no relief for a parent. A child is abducted in Michigan and it is headline news in California. But how many children really are the victims of the scary stranger abduction that is every parent’s worst fear? More than in the past? So many more that a parent can’t leave her child twenty feet away from where she is getting her hair cut?
I needn’t worry about my daughter-in-law leaving Clara in the car. She is the best of mothers and I have none of the criticism I hear from other mothers of sons. And my son is a wonderful father. But he is a worrier and hovers too closely over three year old Clara.
“Relax,” I tell him. “She’s fine.”
And she is. But Clara is a bit of a worrier too. It runs in our family. My own father, yes, the one who left us in the car, was overly protective and fearful for our safety. “Don’t do this.” “Be careful of that.” I’m a bit the same way and my son undoubtedly learned it from me. Thank goodness for my daughter-in-law whose calm, assuring protective encouragement is exactly right for both my son and my granddaughter.
Clara, of course, is very attached to her mother and wants to be just like her. So, for Christmas they will get mother daughter sweaters. Everything has to be pink for Clara these days! Preferably hot pink. But, although she would probably wear it to please Clara, I don’t think Mom wants a little girl’s hot pink sweater. So, the sweaters won’t be exactly alike, but close enough. Clara’s Helena will be knit with Berroco Comfort DK in a warm pink. Mom’s February Lady Sweater will bea slightly muted pink in Cascade 220. I’ll modify the February Lady Sweater to use the same lace pattern that is in Helena.
A young mother in our area was arrested after leaving her baby in the car while getting her hair cut. Sounds awful right? The story reminds us of other stories of babies left in a car with the engine running and doors unlocked, babies left in the car while their mothers were inside drinking or partying oblivious to the child, babies left in a hot car with the windows rolled up. Some of those babies died.
But this mother thought she was taking care of her child. She was following the advice I remember reading from La Leche League when I was a new mother, “Never wake a sleeping baby.” The teething baby had had a rough night, had fallen asleep in his car seat and she didn’t want to wake him. She locked the car and cracked the windows on a day when all agreed overheating was not an issue. She was in a chair twenty feet away and reportedly could keep her eye on the baby. A well meaning stranger saw the baby, called the police and mom was arrested.
The women in my book club agreed with the district attorney’s decision not to charge the mother but thought the mother had been stupid. Someone could have abducted the baby before the mother could get to her car. While she watched, a child abuser could break the lock, open the door, and grab the baby strapped into the car seat secured to the car, all before she could get there. Really? If she were watching from only 20 feet away?
I remember being left in the car as a child. In other ways my parents were very protective, overly protective even. But leaving their children in the car didn’t feel neglectful. I was left in the car while my father went into the bank or the grocery store. Once I awoke in what felt like the middle of the night locked in the back seat of the family car with my two sisters in front of a restaurant on Highway 99. My father had tired while driving and needed a cup of coffee. Did they leave us alone in the car too much? Perhaps. But the danger we felt was abandonment not any being abducted by strangers. Parents didn’t worry so much about child abduction then and locked car doors was thought adequate protection.
When a child was abducted in northern California when I was a child, my parents held us tighter, watched us more closely for awhile. As the horror slipped from the front pages of the newspaper and the front of their consciousness, they relaxed. Today there is no relief for a parent. A child is abducted in Michigan and it is headline news in California. But how many children really are the victims of the scary stranger abduction that is every parent’s worst fear? More than in the past? So many more that a parent can’t leave her child twenty feet away from where she is getting her hair cut?
I needn’t worry about my daughter-in-law leaving Clara in the car. She is the best of mothers and I have none of the criticism I hear from other mothers of sons. And my son is a wonderful father. But he is a worrier and hovers too closely over three year old Clara.
“Relax,” I tell him. “She’s fine.”
And she is. But Clara is a bit of a worrier too. It runs in our family. My own father, yes, the one who left us in the car, was overly protective and fearful for our safety. “Don’t do this.” “Be careful of that.” I’m a bit the same way and my son undoubtedly learned it from me. Thank goodness for my daughter-in-law whose calm, assuring protective encouragement is exactly right for both my son and my granddaughter.
Clara, of course, is very attached to her mother and wants to be just like her. So, for Christmas they will get mother daughter sweaters. Everything has to be pink for Clara these days! Preferably hot pink. But, although she would probably wear it to please Clara, I don’t think Mom wants a little girl’s hot pink sweater. So, the sweaters won’t be exactly alike, but close enough. Clara’s Helena will be knit with Berroco Comfort DK in a warm pink. Mom’s February Lady Sweater will bea slightly muted pink in Cascade 220. I’ll modify the February Lady Sweater to use the same lace pattern that is in Helena.
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